Dead Eyes
by MauMeow1
Summary: What goes on behind the dead, lightless eyes of the MacDuncan Obea? This Lael's story, the simple tale of a forgotten wolf. Follow her on her journeys of hardship, heartbreak, and hope. (Rated T for some violence later)
1. Prologue: Before Memory

**I've decided to start on a really old idea for a fanfic. I'm trying to focus on Outclanner, butI'll also update this one whenever I get the chance to. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Wolves of the Beyond or its characters. I claim no ownership over my original characters and give my permission for anyone to use them.**

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Prologue: Before Memory

Fenna gently licked her newborn pups. They were so beautiful. Her mate would have been so proud if not for that horrible tail! Her dirty yellow and white fur was raised with fear when she thought of what would happen. _Four little pups. At least...at least three of them will have a chance at a good life. Oh, Lupus, please...Lupus, don't let Shibaan find me. I'll leave the clan, I'll raise them as lone wolves, just please, let him stay with me._

Her poor, cursed son suckled along with his siblings. He wasn't missing a leg or nose, no! This wolf could have grown up just like the others. It wasn't like his deformity was keeping him from helping the pack. "It's not right!" Fenna growled. "He's as perfect as the rest, and I will be banished for it?"

He had two brothers, one yellow, one brown, and a small sister as white as snow. Fenna wondered if she should make up names for them. _The whole pack saw me going by-lang. There's no use. She'll find me soon. But...I would have named her Dasmil. The malcadh would have been Cellidh, and his brothers would have been Fyren and Seraf._

She sighed. Her second litter. She'd thought her life had been going so well. _Oh, Cadd! _she thought. She loved her paw-fast dearly. How would she even go on without him? Could she take another mate knowing Cadd was still alive? Her older daughter would be distraught. The laws Fenna once found fair and sacred now seemed ugly and dark. It was wrong! Why would Lupus let her family be torn apart over a missing tail?

A wolf's scent hit her like a falling boulder. No! She couldn't have been found so soon.

"Fenna?" called the voice of the MacDuncan Obea, Shibaan. "The pup, Fenna." She crept into the den, her gaze fixed on the malcadh. Her eyes lacked the luster of other wolves, turned dim and emotionless by her sad duty, but Fenna thought she detected a hint of pity in them.

"I - " Fenna's voice cracked. Tears streamed down her muzzle as she drew her tailless son toward her. Whimpering, she nosed him over to the Obea. She knew what the Obea would do to the other three if she did not give him up. Shibaan nodded slowly. It had to be done.

Fenna looked over to the other three. Her heart broke when she realized she would not get to see them grow up. They would be given to another she-wolf to raise. They would never find out who their first mother had been.

_It's better this way. They wouldn't want to know about what happened to Cellidh and Cadd and I._

Shibaan started toward the nearest of her usual tummfraws, gazing down at the helpless pup with her cold, dead eyes.

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**Sorry for shortness! Lael the one Fenna called Dasmil. Don't worry, the rest will be about her. I just wanted to give her a more interesting past than being born in a healthy litter and raised by her real mother. **


	2. One: Dasmil

**It's finally done! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Wolves of the Beyond, not even Lael. Kathryn Lasky is the one who created this amazing series!**

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Chapter One: Dasmil

"Bring it over here!" Thesel barked. The four month old pup's dark brown coat was splattered with mud. His white-coated sister, Lael, watched as he and his friend played with a pinecone

"Hurry, get it!" Grenish smacked it toward him with her paw.

Their younger cousin was a very small wolf, but it was still obvious she would be beautiful when she grew up. Her fur was pale silver, with white paws and a white-tipped tail, and her eyes were of deep, grayish green. She was an outflanker in the pups' byrrgis of two. Thesel was a pretend line wolf, but since he didn't know any of the hunters' real messages, he just barked his commands to Grenish.

Lael jumped back when the pinecone rolled right into her paws. Her brother flashed an expression of disappointment and exasperation. He quickly forced a fake look of excitement onto his face. "Pass it back," he said bossily. Lael didn't like it when he used that tone.

She nervously shifted her paws. Her dark, wide eyes darted this way and that, never focusing on either of the other pups. Her gaze hardened on Thesel. _I can do this. Time to show him! _Gulping in a huge breath of air, she lightly pushed it with her paw. It only rolled a few inches before coming to a stop between her and Grenish. Thesel let out an exaggerated sigh.

Grenish cocked her head at Lael. "Come on, Lael. Don't you want to help us hunt?"

Lael shyly ducked her head. Her tiny tail hung limply as she regarded Grenish out of the corner of her eyes.

"Lael's no fun!" Thesel growled, bumping Grenish's side playfully. "Let's go play with Orilline's pups."

"They're big," Lael squeaked.

She hated talking to Thesel, Grenish, and the other pups. They were always running around, biting, jumping, and roughhousing. She was the same size as them and didn't seem to be any weaker, but interacting with them scared her. The constant noise and movement was annoying. Even her mother, Lerissy, made her uncomfortable. Lael thought she obsessed way too much over Thesel and her growing up to be as strong as the other pups. Thesel said this was because their younger, weaker sibling, Meddir, had died from sickness at only two moons old.

Thesel curled back his lips in annoyance. "Grenish and I are strong. We don't _need_ to be as old as them. Maybe if you practiced more, you would be as good at wrestling!"

Grenish nodded. The coldness in her eyes as she ran them over Lael shocked the white pup. Grenish may have been as boisterous and competitive as Thesel, but she was normally very kind. "You can go play with Flint. Go practice."

"If she'll even talk to him," Thesel grumbled. He turned to Grenish. "Maybe Secella will help us make a b - ber - byrrgis." The pup struggled to get out the difficult word. He made up for it with a loud huff and led Grenish away from his sister.

By the time Lael came up with something to say back, they were both out of earshot. She couldn't decide whether to be angry or sad or happy that they'd left her alone. "It's not my fault I never can think of what to say," Lael muttered to herself quietly. "What's wrong with not saying anything? It's better than saying something rude like Thesel does! I don't want to play with them. All they ever do is bother me about it."

"Lael!"

Lael spun around. Her spirits plummeted when she spotted Lerissy loping at press-paw speed toward her. _Oh, great. Another scolding. _She prepared to keep herself silent as Lerissy went on and on for the hundredth time about how she had make more friends and work on becoming a high ranked pup.

This time, however, her mother seemed much more forgiving of her weakness. "Oh, Lael. Did Thesel abandon you again? I told him to teach you how to do the hunting sweep!" Her olive eyes shined with nervousness and anger. She scented the air for her son. Even though Lael was glad she was not angry with her, it really wasn't Thesel's fault that Lael didn't want to be taught. Behind her dislike for Thesel, she felt guilty for this.

"Yes," Lael merely grunted. She _wanted_ to speak her thoughts on Thesel. She couldn't conjure up the right words, though, so she stayed quiet as she always did. She watched Lerissy stomp off to scold her brother. The poor old she-wolf became frantic at the slightest issue. Lael just couldn't understand why. "Mother," she said simply. Mother was a mystery, but Lael never troubled herself with solving such riddles.

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Lael liked to wander. She would sneak away from her mother whenever Lerissy was busy. She slipped away from the rest of the Eastern Scree Pack and into the comfort of her loneliness. She never went too far from the rest of the pack for fear of getting lost. All she looked for was a place where she could be alone.

Far away from the other pups, Lael would play by herself. Nobody chastised her or told her where to stand as she chased invisible caribou across the damp ground. The imaginary pups that she wrestled with would always surrender to her. She imagined pups who didn't speak to her and never asked her to speak to them. She imagined herself two more brothers: one was handsome but humble and the other playful but sweet. Both of them always agreed with her. They never snapped at her or acted dominant like Thesel.

The best thing about her imaginary friends was that, in the back of her mind, she knew they were just part of her own thoughts. She always kept herself rational. The other pups were foolish enough to believe their pretend games were real. _Not me! _Lael thought smugly. She prided herself in never partaking in their childish displays. _I can imagine a much better pack of friends than any of them._

Today, Lael decided they would be fighting the evil cursed pack from the Dim World called the MacDims (though she thought of herself as intelligent, she really wasn't that original). Lael was never the MacDuncan chieftain; that was her brother's job. She was the swift and clever spy who got to kill the wicked vyrrwolf who led the MacDims.

The MacDims were the exact opposite of the MacDuncans. Their leader didn't care about order or the Great Chain. He was a power-hungry shade who wanted revenge on the good MacDuncan clan. His followers were bloodthirsty savages. Lael and her imaginary brothers were the heroes of the story, sent by Lupus to save all of the Beyond. The chieftain and lords of the MacDuncans had been captured by the MacDims. Now it was her job to save them!

"I'll save you!" Lael yipped to the empty air where she imagined the captured wolves were standing. Her fur stood on end and her ears were pinned, but a wagging tail and big smile betrayed her delight. She loved this game.

She charged the MacDims. Their nonexistent chieftain drew closer and closer...

"What are you doing?" a distant voice called.

Lael stopped. Her brothers and the vyrrwolves all disappeared as she forced herself back into reality. Embarrassed, she turned around to face the wolf who had stumbled upon her game. Her tail and ears drooped again, and she resumed her usual bored and submissive stance.

It was Flint, one of the older pups. He was a full month older than Lael and much taller than her. Once the smallest of Orilline's litter, he was almost caught up to his siblings in height and weight by now. His gray, almost black, coat was still dripping with water from a short swim in the nearby stream. He saw her discomfort and tried to look more friendly. "Is it a game?" he asked.

Lael stared at him for a few heartbeats. "Yeah," she finally replied.

"So, uh, Lael," Flint drawled awkwardly. Someone else must have told him her name, for Lael never spoke to him. "Can I join in?" His tail twitched hopefully.

"Yeah, sure," Lael yipped blankly. "It's a pretend hunt." She lied to protect the story she had created. She knew in her heart that if she let another pup into the game of MacDims, it would never be the same. The magic of her sacred loneliness would be gone. Her humble, imaginary playmates, would be replaced by a proud and opinionated real pup. She didn't want that to happen. She wanted her selfish story to stay the same.

"Oh, I love those!" Flint said. Lael could tell he was also lying. He always wrestled with his siblings and left when they wanted to make a hunting byrrgis. "So do you want to be an outflanker? I can be a packer or something."

_What does an outflanker do? _Lael tried to remember all the positions Lerissy taught her. "Sure."

Flint decided they should hunt a moose. He helped her get into the right place to start and barked the position of the invisible prey every once and a while. He seemed to be having a great time, so Lael tried to act enthusiastic. Lael ran as fast as she could, her tiny paws slipping and sliding on the slick ground. Once she fell flat on her face. Flint laughed. It wasn't a harsh, condescending sound like Thesel's or Grenish's. In fact, it was actually quite pleasing. Lael let a little chuckle escape her as well.

Flint leapt into the air and snapped his little puppy jaws. "It's dead!" he howled. "We did it!" They did not perform any fake lochinvyrr; both pups knew it would have been very disrespectful to mock the ritual. For the first time, Lael longed to be part of a real hunt and witness it. _How wonderful it must be to see two animals communicating so clearly without any talking._

"That was fun!" Flint yipped, dancing around Lael. His bright green eyes met her wide, startled ones. Eyes full of the light and joy and _life_ of youth that Lael's seemed to be lacking. His voice suddenly became very calm and sincere."Do...do you want to be my friend, Lael?"

Lael took a few steps back from the excited other pup. "Yeah, sure."

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**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! You guys are the best encouragement. I honestly wasn't that inspired to write more of this, but I've had a lot of new ideas lately. I'm writing them all down and planning this whole story. Expect a new update soon. Thanks for reading!**


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